If I’ve learned anything about being a mother to a toddler, it’s that toddlers can be completely different people from day to day.
Last week, I had the most wonderful week I’ve ever had with Aiden. Although his bedtime wanted to shift later, and we had to adjust his naps, and that resulted in some sleep hiccups, it was still an amazing week. Aiden was just so HAPPY. Tantrums were almost non-existent. He played independently for long stretches of time. He walked on his own without crying to be carried. He babbled on and on happily, coming up with new words and new games each day. It was thrilling.
You’d never know that this handsome boy was having a grumpy morningLast week was so good – filled with fun times at home, a toddler who ate anything thanks to a growth spurt, and sunshiny days at the park – I actually had occasion to say to a few people that being a parent was finally getting “easier.” That I could actually imagine, some day, a second.
Well, Monday has a way of kicking your ass, doesn’t it? Our morning was filled with tantrums, even when they seemed to come from nowhere. Though he had his happy moments, it was a weird morning. His afternoon was equally weird – I even had to breastfeed him after he melted down for some unknown reason… and he hasn’t wanted to breastfeed in our living room for about a year.
So, you have those crazy days thrown in there. But that one week gives me hope – hope that this parenting thing WILL get easier.
I’ve been eager to get to the age where Aiden and I can sit and draw together. I love drawing and arts and crafts projects. We spend some time with crafts at playgroups, and Aiden’s interest is really starting to develop. When I saw that there were products designed to introduce younger toddlers to drawing, I jumped on board. We have 3 TaDoodles sets – crayons, markers and bath crayons. The only hit has been the bath crayons. The rest are basically worthless.
The TaDoodles forces Aiden to hold the marker in a particular way, and it seems rather unintuitive for him. Plus, it’s a completely different way of drawing than he will later use for markers & crayons, so what’s the point? His ability to grip fine things has been developed for months.
Ok, I get that the TaDoodles markers won’t dry out. But, at this age, Aiden isn’t drawing on his own and I can easily replace caps. Plus, the ink on those suckers was so profuse that it smudged all over the paper and onto his hands. Aiden has an easier time using real crayons vs TaDoodle crayons.
And while we’re on the topic of first art projects, markers are WAY easier for little toddler to use than crayons. Much more instant gratification. Look at the art that Aiden was able to create with his *first* experience with markers!!
I was hoping, by this time in our current sleep training regime, to be able to say, “this is how we got Aiden back to sleeping 12 hour nights” and explain it all. But we’re not there. Oh, how I wish we were.
I try not to be super negative in my posts, but the reality is that I’m tired. Beyond tired. Aiden hasn’t had a 12 hour sleep since Christmas. That’s a long long time ago.
While it may have started with a cold or with a bout of teething, Aiden regressed. Our sleep trainer calls him “sleep sensitive”, or a child who regresses easily. Though it’s completely normal for babies to wake during the night, a “good sleeper” will just roll over and go back to sleep. When anything bothers Aiden, he calls out for mama, and only for mama. Not only that, but he wouldn’t be consoled by me with anything but nursing. So, what may start as one nursing session to calm him at night slowly builds up to an every 2 hour habit. It’s a cycle we’ve been through before.
This time around, we’re trying to sleep train Aiden with a more gentle method, one that will (maybe) allow us a way to soothe him when he’s upset. Or at least to try. Given how badly his separation anxiety has been, and how much worse it becomes when he cries in his room, it was really our only option. Now that he has a grasp of language, I’m able to explain to him what’s happening and that I will sit by his crib until he falls asleep. He understands, even if he doesn’t like it.
The training is working, though I’m far from perfect. Some of the wakings can drag on for as much as 3 hours, with me going in and out of his room if he tries to engage. Sometimes I give in and nurse, though that’s hours into the process. Hopefully he’ll learn that it’s not worth it to wake. Right now he is down to one major long wake per night and a few smaller wakes – these ones are generally easy to fix now with a hug and a kiss and me walking out again. I will go into more detail of how it all works when it’s all behind us.
But at 2am when I’m sitting on the floor of Aiden’s room, I’m a mess. I’m exhausted. It drags into my days, with me not even wanting to be around Aiden by the time Ianiv gets home from work. I’m just TOO TIRED. It upsets me that I can’t enjoy all the moments I spend with Aiden.
It’s a phase. I know it will pass. But it SUCKS.
As you know, I’ve chosen to continue breastfeeding Aiden past his first birthday. If he self-weans at any time, I’ll have to come to terms with that. If he doesn’t, I’ll make a decision some time past his 2nd birthday about when we will stop. That’s a long time to be wearing nursing bras that were doing absolutely nothing for my self-confidence.
Despite the fact that I’m now stronger than I’ve ever been, after a few months of personal training, I’ve not dropped all my baby weight… and was not my ideal weight when I got pregnant, either. I blame years of chronic pain. And muffins.
Anyway, I was feeling a little down about myself and my uniboob was no help. Let’s face it, nursing bras are ugly. I did my best to find a nursing bra that looked good and was comfortable, but even then, it left something to be desired. Plus, nursing bras made me feel more like a mom and less like a woman… you know?
So, I decided to give myself a lift – quite literally! I bought new bras… non-nursing bras! I headed over to Calvin Klein, my favourite brand of bras, and bought two underwire bras that would fold down for easy access when nursing. I figured that, being well established in my nursing and not nursing a newborn, I wasn’t likely to have any plugged duct issues that underwire can make worse.
It was the best purchase decision I’ve made in a while. And heck, I might as well enjoy the cleavage that breastfeeding is giving me, right??
When people discover that we use cloth diapers, we get one of two reactions. If they are a cloth diapering family too, we will usually start comparing diaper brands and talking about how much we love cloth diapering. If they don’t use cloth, we usually get inundated with questions. So for those out there who are curious about cloth, here are the answers to the most frequently asked questions:
Is it really cheaper to use cloth?
Not at first. You have to buy everything you will need for diapering up front, so the initial outlay can seem a bit pricey, but in the long run we are saving. The savings will go up exponentially when we have a second child and can reuse everything we bought for Zayden. We will likely spend $0 to diaper our second kid.
What do you do when you’re out of the house?
While some cloth diapering parents find it more convenient to use disposables when they’re out of the house, we use cloth when we’re out-and-about as well. The diaper bag really doesn’t look that different in the end. We pack the same number of diapers, but also bring a wet bag for dirty diapers. We also have a zippered pouch of cloth wipes and a small spray bottle with diaper wipes solution (a cup of water mixed with 5 drops of tea tree oil) instead of disposable wipes.
Doesn’t it make diaper rash worse?
Sometimes. It depends on how sensitive your baby’s skin is and how often you change your baby’s diaper. There are a lot of causes of diaper rash, but prolonged exposure to moisture is one of them. Cloth diapers don’t contain gel, so they don’t have the same “stay dry” properties as disposables. The easiest way to avoid diaper rashes if you use cloth diapers is to change your baby’s diaper as soon as you realize it’s wet. A good diaper cream can also help in situations where you won’t be able to change the diaper frequently (e.g. overnight). We have been known to switch to disposables temporarily in order to clear up a particularly persistent diaper rash.
If I wanted to use cloth diapers, how many would I need? What else would I need?
Depends on how often you want to do laundry and how old your child is. New and Green has a helpful article on what you need to get started along with other helpful resources for first time cloth diaperers.
Don’t you hate doing all that extra laundry?
Not really. It’s not as much extra laundry as you would think. I probably only do 2 more loads per week than I did pre-baby. And I would way rather do a load of laundry in the comfort of my own home than have to head out in the pouring rain and cold to buy a box of diapers when our supply runs out.
Cloth diapers seem so complicated. How did you figure out how to use them?
Not all cloth diapers are like origami with safety pins. We weren’t interested in a lot of fussing and folding ourselves, so we use pocket diapers. They look just like a disposable, no folding required. All you have to do is stuff an absorbent cloth pad inside them.
Aren’t cloth diapers much bulkier than disposables?
Yes. That is probably the one downside for me. Zayden tends to grow out of his pants a little sooner because of it. But the extra padding does come in handy with all the falls he’s been taking since learning to pull up.
Ew! Don’t you hate cleaning up a poopy diaper?
Don’t you? All babies poop the last time I checked. Even those who use disposables are supposed to knock the solids off a dirty diaper into the toilet so that the waste can be properly treated.
What do you do when you’re on vacation?
We use disposables and then switch back to cloth when we get home.
Is it true that kids who wear cloth diapers are potty trained faster than kids who don’t?
I’ll let you know in a few years when we actually tackle potty training, but that is the rumour. The theory is that because cloth diapered kids know what it feels like to have a wet diaper, they make the connection between the sensation that they need to go and using the potty faster.
I’m sure you know how to use them properly, but don’t you have issues with babysitters and daycare?
Because we use pocket diapers (see above), they are pretty straightforward and all our caregivers have caught on pretty quickly. There are some daycare centres out there that refuse to use cloth diapers; we won’t consider those types of centres when it comes time to put Zayden in pre-school.
Are cloth diapers less absorbent than disposables?
The gel in a disposable can absorb a freakishly large amount of liquid, but so can a lot of natural fibres. The hemp inserts we use for overnight are particularly absorbent.
So what are you, a big tree hugging hippie?
Sorry to disappoint you, but you won’t find any Birkenstocks or organic ancient grains granola in our house. Cloth diapering is not just for hippies and environmentalists. Concern for the environment is part of the reason we chose to go with cloth, but we also did it for our son’s health (we wanted to reduce his exposure to unnecessary chemicals as much as possible) and to save a bit of money. And to be honest, I did it because I think cloth diapers are cute. There are different colours and designs to choose from that make diapering a little more fun for me. In my view, when it comes to style, the difference between disposables and cloth is like the difference between a paper gown you get at the doctor’s office and a really cute sweater.
