Aiden has almost entirely given up breastfeeding, and I’m kind of sad about it. Since he started sleeping well, he became more of a ‘scheduled’ breastfeeder, only wanting to breastfeed at home, in his room, in his rocking chair in the morning, before his nap and before bed. Nowhere else. From time to time, he’d drop a feed or go on a nursing strike, but we’ve made it to nearly 2 years in our breastfeeding relationship.
On his own, Aiden decided he no longer wanted his pre-bed nursing session. That was probably about a year ago. He was far more interested in books! During crazy sleep times, he would still ask to nurse at night, but now he’s content just to cuddle if he’s having a really bad night and won’t settle.
A few months ago, I purposefully stopped offering to nurse Aiden before his nap. He wasn’t really drinking, just sucking, and so I couldn’t be bothered. He didn’t care. From then on, it was just a morning feed, and it’s been growing shorter for a long time now.
In the morning, it has been our routine for 2-3 months to bring Aiden to our room for a snuggle. He’ll nurse then look at some YouTube clips. Sure, it’s not as good as the morning book routine, but we read books all day, so we’re ok with it. Knowing the fun that’s coming, Aiden doesn’t nurse for long. These days, he’s effectively not nursing – just a few swallows of probably very little milk before he’s ‘all done’, but he still wants to be offered the chance to nurse.
I know he’s not really nursing anymore, but in a way he still is. And when he stops asking or I stop offering and he doesn’t notice… well, that part of our life is over. It’s kind of sad.
Though it is really just a convenience, I’m going to mark it as a milestone. Since our car went out for service today, when it came back we decided to flip Aiden’s car seat to forward facing. Though our model of car seat can be rear facing until 40lbs, 20lbs past the legal requirement (if baby is past 12 months), Aiden’s long legs have been seeming cramped. So, we flipped him around:
He’s taking one nap. Down to breastfeeding just 2-3 times a day (morning, before nap, 1 time at night if he wakes). Where did my baby go??
*sniff*
As you know, I’ve chosen to continue breastfeeding Aiden past his first birthday. If he self-weans at any time, I’ll have to come to terms with that. If he doesn’t, I’ll make a decision some time past his 2nd birthday about when we will stop. That’s a long time to be wearing nursing bras that were doing absolutely nothing for my self-confidence.
Despite the fact that I’m now stronger than I’ve ever been, after a few months of personal training, I’ve not dropped all my baby weight… and was not my ideal weight when I got pregnant, either. I blame years of chronic pain. And muffins.
Anyway, I was feeling a little down about myself and my uniboob was no help. Let’s face it, nursing bras are ugly. I did my best to find a nursing bra that looked good and was comfortable, but even then, it left something to be desired. Plus, nursing bras made me feel more like a mom and less like a woman… you know?
So, I decided to give myself a lift – quite literally! I bought new bras… non-nursing bras! I headed over to Calvin Klein, my favourite brand of bras, and bought two underwire bras that would fold down for easy access when nursing. I figured that, being well established in my nursing and not nursing a newborn, I wasn’t likely to have any plugged duct issues that underwire can make worse.
It was the best purchase decision I’ve made in a while. And heck, I might as well enjoy the cleavage that breastfeeding is giving me, right??
We all have heard about the famous baby smell. I can concur that it’s true – and it’s amazing. Though I hear fully formula-fed babies can smell a little differently, I know for sure that Aiden has a scent all his own. It’s not connected with baby soap – since we only use that every week or two – or shampoo – that’s every month or two. It’s just… Aiden.
From what I could research, a baby’s scent may operate as a pheromone. For sure, my reaction to how Aiden smells is different to that of other babies – they all smell different from each other.
Though the scent has faded as he’s grown up, it’s still there. I notice it most on the top of his head and mostly when he’s breastfeeding. When I’m nursing, my body releases oxytocin and, aside from making me feel emotionally connected to Aiden, it seems to increase my sense of smell. My nose becomes flooded with his baby smell – it’s quite a heady rush.
Do you still savour the baby smell? When does it go away?
Yesterday, during Aiden’s 12-month check-up, I had confirmation that my Doctor is, indeed, anti-breastfeeding. I had suspicions before, after she quickly put Aiden on formula at 3 days old and when, at 6 months old, she urged me to add a bottle of formula back into his day just for the “added benefit.” We didn’t, of course, since he was breastfeeding just fine. But, yesterday trumped all.
The doctor began innocently enough, asking if I had yet started Aiden on whole milk. I said I had not, but was considering adding some into his day either with meals or after naps. I said I planned to continue breastfeeding. To that statement, she said things such as…
“It’s unfortunate that Canada has adopted the WHO standard to breastfeed past 1 year.”
“If you don’t wean at one-year, you may have a boy who is still breastfeeding in pre-school.”
“He needs 20oz of milk per day to get enough calcium and vitamin D. Cheese and yogurt are not enough. How do you know how much breastmilk he’s getting? Do you measure it? He is probably only getting 2oz per feed, and that’s definitely not enough.”
“In Africa, mothers breastfeed because they have to. In an industrial society, we have the opportunity to do better by our children.”
“Past 4 months, babies have all the antibodies they need from breastmilk and that’s enough.”
And what does she justify her opinions on? Her 18 years of experience. She doesn’t acknowledge the bodies of research that indicate that breastfeeding is highly beneficial for both mom & baby.
Sure, I’m open to adding in whole milk. I know Aiden doesn’t always nurse well during parts of the day. But I think it’s highly irresponsible for a Doctor to imply that it is unnecessary to continue breastfeeding my baby.
